regrouping.

I started a post yesterday about how my black cloud was once again creeping in. Since mid-July, I’ve had this “thing” weighing on me. Since mid-July, I’ve tried to remain positive. Twice now, panic has come – stepping in and taking away my sunshine.

Funny thing has happened each time, though. It seems that when I feel like I’m close to reaching the bottom, good things start happening. Good things that make me question whether or not this black cloud “thing” really is that dark.

In the grand scheme of things, it could be. It may be. Or maybe it won’t be. Right now, it should not be such a dark “thing.” Because right now, things are okay.

I got a few reminders yesterday that I must take each day at a time and not think about the future. And I got it, at least for now.

I enjoyed a beautiful moment with my daughter this morning. I climbed in bed next to her to wake her up, and as I rubbed her back, a few lines from the 10,000 Maniacs song More Than This popped into my head. As I repeated to myself over and over, “More than this, you know there is nothing more than this,” I thought of just how beautiful this life is. No, there is nothing more than this. It’s the simple things in life that are most important; everything else will fall into place, even if I don’t happen to know just what that “place” is just yet.

As far as Mamavation … ladies, I need to get back on track. Whew, do I ever need to get myself together. One thing I have kept up with is the #100DayBurpeeChallenge … I would not want to catch up on what I’ve missed! 😉

More to come later – I have a few other posts planned, I just need to find the time and motivation to get them posted.

mamavation: just here.

I just lost my entire Mamavation post. And it wasn’t exactly a fun one, so now I’m even more upset. Argh.

What I was sharing is that it hasn’t been a great week, but it also hasn’t been a bad week, either. Always good! I’ve got a bit of a stress in my life right now, and while I’ve been pretty good at staying positive about it up until now, it’s starting to chip away at my sunshine as of late. It’s okay. It will be okay. I just don’t feel as sunshiny this week as I usually do.

While there’s really no scale victory for me this week, the fact that I’m not doing some out of control stress eating surely is a non-scale victory, so I’ll take it. One day at a time.

Hope you Mamavation Sistas have a great week. I’ll be back to bubbly soon – I just need to figure this thing out. All I need is time. Just a little time.

mamavation monday: zen.

I feel like I should be bummed today as I look at my progress. I’m just hovering – seeing lots of ups and downs, with little progress over the past couple of weeks. I feel like I should be fretting.

But I’m not.

Over the past few days, I’ve really noticed how motivated I am by, well, my current motivations. I’ve been thinking about the past. I’ve been thinking about the present. And I think I’ve discovered something about myself that perhaps I didn’t recognize before.

When I’m into something, I’m really into it.

So that can be good and bad. When I’m into being lazy – not working out, making poor food choices, eating out – I’m really good at it. But the opposite is true, too, and that’s where I am right now. I’m making great choices, becoming addicted to running, and eating out less and less.

So what do I need to do? By golly, stick. with. it. Because when I get off the wagon, I’m toast.

Like the week before last. Remember in my last Mamavation Monday I mentioned that it wasn’t a good week? Believe me when I say that it wasn’t a good week. And it wasn’t just here and there. No, there was little exercise, bad food, and indulgences that should be saved for every now and then. And honestly, I’m amazed I was able to gain control again so quickly. I know it was through the support of the Mamavation Sistas that I was able to get back into things. It’s true. A huge hug and thank you to each and every one of you – whether we communicated directly or not, the #mamavation chatter and your progress and honesty kept me going.

All that to say that the number on the scale is not my motivation right now, and it’s such a beautiful feeling. In fact, while I’m recording my weight and measurements nearly religiously, I don’t really care about any of them. I’m at a place where I know I’m doing the right thing, and that’s all I really need. I know the feeling won’t last forever, but this place where I am now is so beautiful. I know change will come.

This isn’t going to be a short a journey, and frankly, it shouldn’t be. As it stands now, I’ve got about 20 pounds to go to even reach the top of my healthy BMI range. And that’s just one small piece of it all.

So right now I’ll enjoy this. I’ll smile when my 2 year old daughter wants to snack on sugar snap peas just like ‘MaMum.’ I’ll push myself even harder on my runs and make them a beautiful habit. And I’ll continue to make progress toward bringing only healthy foods into our house. All of those things can be forever things, and bring us one step closer to a beautifully healthy family. That, and not a simple measurement, is what it’s all about.

back to mamavation reality.

I’m just going to tell it like it is – this past week was not a good Mamavation week for me. I failed to workout consistently. I ate things I shouldn’t have. And while I didn’t gain as much as I think I should have, I did see that number inch up a bit. I just let things get in the way.

I’m back today, and ready to step back up to the challenge. What happened is done and over with – I can’t change it. In reality, a week is just a week. It wasn’t a month, a year, or a decade. It’s damage I can undo.

Discouraged by a few bad days? Nope. It’s time to move on!!!

refocusing.

Do you see that grey dot that erases just about all I’ve accomplished thus far? Yeah, I don’t either. Because honestly, it doesn’t matter. I know I haven’t eaten enough to gain that much, so it’s meaningless.

I’m focusing on my refocusing. My distance from the numbers.

Instead of celebrating scale victories this week, of which there are clearly none, I’m going to instead focus on those that do not contain numbers. Because whatever, there’s more to this than a number.

I posted a question in the Mamavation forum last week – I needed ideas for increasing my water intake over the weekend. Thanks to those who shared – I got some great ideas, and am happy to say that I did a great job with my water intake over the weekend. Victory #1!

It’s still ridiculously hot here. We did get a few breaks, and I did manage to run outside once (Or maybe twice? I’d have to check.). At any rate, in-between, I’ve managed to stay consistent with other things – Wii Free Step, treadmill at work during lunch, and Wii EA Sports Active. I do need to work on the motivation to run in the morning (Mornings just aren’t my thing.), but I seriously can’t worry about that just yet. I had a blast with an hour of EA Sports Active on Friday night, which put a huge smile on my face. Victory #2!

Want to get more steps on that pedometer every day? I started walking in place while I dry my hair. I won’t leave the bathroom in the morning until I’ve got 1,000 steps on my pedometer. Victory #3!

I’m loving the fact that my clothes are feeling a bit loose. That’s my reminder every single morning that this is not about a number, but about choosing to be healthy for my family. The rest will come with time, and lots of hard work. It’s already paying off! Victory #4!

So there, weight. Take that. I’ve still got my Mamavation and I’m not giving up. Victory #5!

my answer …

Welcome to this week’s episode of Water Retention Monday. I’m your host, Bloated Mamavation Sista.

So I think I have the answer. Seems every Monday, my weight jumps up by a pound or two, then drops back down on Tuesday. I thought it might have something to do with the fact that I drink WAY less water over the weekend than I do during the week, and after several weeks of watching this happen, I’m pretty sure that’s the answer.

It was a rough week, but I still manged to lose a bit. I had a well deserved binge day (or two) starting on Tuesday, and by Thursday, I was back on track. Life throws us curve balls sometimes, and I think it’s okay to go temporarily off track as long as we jump back on quickly. That I did. (But the french toast and pizza truly were oh so good!)

I’m a bit disappointed with this heat. I was really getting into the C25K program I was doing, but there’s no way I’m running in 100 degree temps and high humidity. No worries, though. I’ve been sticking with the treadmill at work during lunch (Can’t workout at 100% on a lunch break, but every little bit counts!) and doing as much Wii Fit Step and EA Sports Active
as possible. Hoping to jump back in to C25K this week – fingers crossed.

I’m looking forward to seeing if my measurements have changed – tomorrow’s my day to find out!

How was your week? And what are you looking forward to going into this new week? Hope it’s a good one!

thank you.

Aah, here we are. Back at Mamavation Monday. Many, many thanks for the words of encouragement last week. I so needed you. I’ve been carrying on, not letting the number on the scale tell the whole story. I followed the advice many of you gave me and started my measurements last week.

Meanwhile, though, the scale finally started cooperating. I’m down 4.4 lbs (total)! Yippee! I’m starting to figure out just what causes my fluctuations. Of course, we can never be certain, but I have a few good ideas as to what causes my huge daily swings. At any rate, I’m not letting it bother me. It’s only one factor, and certainly not the most important one.

As so many of you said, it’s not about the number on the scale. It’s not a trend. It’s about making changes that can be sustained. And guess what? I think I’m getting there. It’s a beautiful thing – being so full of energy, resisting a temptation and not looking back, leading my family down a road to healthy living.

So to those of you who showed me much needed love this week – again, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Here’s to another beautiful week – a healthy life is oh so pleasing! Hugs!

this is why …

This is why I have such a hard time sustaining these initiatives. I’m always motivated by the desire to lose weight. Sure, healthy eating, family health motivations, and just because are always a very close second, but my primary reason is to lose weight. I work my rear off – eating right, tracking calories, getting in lots of exercise. And what happens?

I gain weight.

So I look at what I did this week. In general, I ate as I was told by MyFitnessPal. If I worked out and needed to eat extra calories, I got as close to that calorie intake number as I could without forcing myself to eat if I wasn’t hungry. I tracked every last bite.

• Mon: untimed walk/run @ park | 14,551 steps
• Tue: 45 min treadmill | 11,955 steps
• Wed: 45 min treadmill, 25 min walk/run @ park, 30 min Wii Fit Free Step | 17,793 steps
• Thu: 35 min treadmill, 30 min Wii Fit Free Step | 11,665 steps
• Fri: 45 min treadmill, 30 min Wii Fit Free Step | 13,779 steps
• Sat: no workout | 6,599 steps (Poor performance, I know.)
• Sun: no workout | 13,291 steps

So I certainly could have gotten one or two more workouts in there. Admittedly. And I did eat a cupcake and some buffalo chicken dip on Saturday. Didn’t need that, but by no means did I go overboard.

I’ll try harder this week. But to gain 3.6 lbs? Seriously? At my best over the past week, I’d seen a loss of 1.5 lbs – and the disclaimer here is that my scale broke, so I used a total of 3 different methods – my old scale until it died, my Wii Fit in between, and my new scale once it arrived.

I’ll keep going and give it time. But I’m already aggravated. Mamavation Sistas, I’m going to need your help this week to keep my motivation up!!!

pedometer: what I’ve learned in 5 days.

So there’s my disclosure – I’ve been at this for 5 days. I have no knowledge upon which to base this post other than my observations.

First things first. We’re doing a steps challenge at work. Those who chose to participate were given a pedometer, asked to set a daily step goal, and sent on our merry little way. My goal? 10,000 steps per day.

I had no idea what I’d signed up for. And I clearly didn’t research beforehand! What I’m learning is that getting to 10,000 steps per day is a LOT of work!

Eek.

Well, if nothing else, this will create quite the good walking habit! Here’s how far I’ve been and what it’s taken for me to get there …

• Day 1: 14,551 steps (un-timed walk at the park; following toddler around the yard)
• Day 2: 11,955 steps (45 minutes on treadmill)
• Day 3: 17,793 steps (30 minutes of Wii Fit Free Step, 45 minutes on treadmill, 25 minute walk at the park)
• Day 4: 11,665 steps (35 minutes on treadmill, 30 minutes of Wii Fit Free Step)
• Day 5: steps unknown (On treadmill now, as I type!)

That’s a whole mess of cardio for 10k steps. Just sayin’.

So perhaps some things I’m doing that just might help you get up and go, too?

• Walk to get things individually. I’d make a loop from the printer, to the water cooler, back to my desk. No more. Now it’s broken up into 2 trips. Same at home. I don’t count on my husband to bring the rest of the dinner ingredients up to the grill, I go get them myself.
• Daughter needs a diaper change? Gladly making the trip back down to the house.
• The walk to the mailbox? I take the long way.
• I’m parking far, far away in the parking lot. Love this one.
• I’ve been doing laps in the yard as my daughter plays in her sand pit. I can still watch her and be active at the same time!
• Instead of shouting a question/answer to my husband from across the house, I walk to him.
• Instead of checking my mailbox as I walk in the office each day, I make a separate trip.
• Obviously … cardio, cardio, cardio.

Have you tried this? Any tips or good ideas to get more steps in?

small successes.

Aah, feeling good today. We have a gym here at work, and several months ago, I was going at lunch on a regular basis. Too bad that didn’t last, huh? I came in yesterday with no plan to go to the gym, but around 10:00, got the idea. I told myself that if I had a set of gym clothes in my locker, I would go. Guess what? I did, and I did! Doing so landed me a total of 11,955 steps yesterday, which makes me happy. And guess where I am right now as I write this? At the gym for day 2!

And then there’s this morning. I have a weekly conference call at 7am, and typically I’ll come in early and take the call here in the office. I’ve been switching it up lately, and sometimes I’ll take the call from home. I decided to do the latter this morning, and got the idea to do some Wii Fit Free Step while on the call. Despite having to hunt for batteries for both the Wii remote and Balance Board (That’s 6 batteries, friends! Impossible!), I did 30 minutes of Free Step while on my conference call! (And according to my Wii, I’ve lost a bit more than 0.5 lb. … proof will come tomorrow when my new scale arrives!)

Mamavation is keeping me going – you Sistas are fabulous! I’m feeling good. And I am posting this as a reminder to myself that I can do this, and that I should celebrate small successes.

What small successes do you have to celebrate?