Monthly Archives: February 2011

365 project (54) … let me go.

02.23.11
What’s going through Huck’s mind? ‘Dad, please let me go.’

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So the theme for joy of LOVE today is Facebook, but I’ve banned myself from Facebook for the time being. You really should check out the great photos on the subject over at Willette’s blog, though!

365 project (53) … face.

02.22.11
Deep in thought …

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Check out other great photos here, please!

365 project (52) … hands.

02.21.11
Love these little hands …

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Check out other great photos here, please!

365 project (51) … when they’re home.

02.20.11
Need I say more? We have a toy tornado!

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Check out lots of other great photos on this subject right here at Willette’s blog! Loving the joy of LOVE!

365 project (50) … when they’re gone.

02.19.11
When my husband is away, I like to keep things simple. For dinner? Usually something like … cereal!

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Check out lots of other great photos on this subject right here at Willette’s blog! Loving the joy of LOVE!

365 project (49) … going out.

02.18.11
We take every opportunity to get outside and spend time together, and when the weather is nice, we end up at the park several times a week. This day was a gift; we made it over 70 degrees in mid-February!

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Check out lots of other great photos on this subject right here at Willette’s blog! Loving the joy of LOVE!

a heavy day.

Today was a dark, heavy day.

To be honest, I’m not really sure of what to make of it. I don’t know if things will get much worse or far better than they are now, but I’m expecting the former and praying for the latter.

Things are happening to and with several of the most important people around me. Bad things. Heavy things. Things no one should ever have to think about or deal with. Long-term, life-changing things.

And I’m always in denial. Always trying to see the bright side. Until days like today, when the ugly slide slaps me in the face. Today alone it did so three times over, with three different people. And let’s not even talk about 2011 to date.

I’m still fighting. I’m still trying to see the bright side and stay positive. But I don’t know what’s right anymore. I don’t know where the line in the sand is drawn between being positive and carrying the heavy weight. But even that doesn’t make sense, because I’m always carrying it, I just carry it differently. Maybe facing reality is the flip side to being positive, but I do that when I’m looking at the bright side, too. Perhaps the bright side isn’t really bright, but is more of a mask that covers what’s bad.

I don’t know.

I do know that I need clarity. I need someone to tell me that everything will be alright – and then help me to believe it. You see, I’m always the one who believes in the up side. I’m always the one who says and does those things for others. But today, I’m not so sure I can believe myself anymore. I’m not so sure that my sunshiny outlook on life’s awful situations is the right choice.

And the thought that I’m even questioning my entire outlook on life has me a little scared. Okay, it has me really scared.