this crazy road …

Looks like I wrote this post on 9/21/12 … and didn’t publish it. So that it doesn’t sit in my Drafts folder, here it is … albeit a little late!

I didn’t know any different. I had no reason to think that carrying you would be any different than carrying your big sister. Sure, they say every pregnancy is different, and while I believed that, I didn’t ever imagine they’d be polar opposites.

Yes, your sister made me quite sick, and for 4 or so weeks longer than you did. But other than that, she was an absolute breeze. There was heartburn off and on for the last month or so, and swelling in the final month, as well. But truly, that was about it.

You, on the other hand, have pushed the limits at times! It started out as the usual morning sickness, which made me think you were a girl. In fact, I was convinced!

Next, it was the “lump in my throat” feeling, which turned out to be nearly 8 weeks of acid reflux. That happened twice more, though the subsequent incidents were notably shorter.

If I’m remembering correctly, the acid reflux was followed by the rash from h*ll. You gave me that not only once, but twice! If I had to choose one thing that was the worst of all, this would be it. A month or so of the most awful bumpy, burning, itching, swollen mess I’ve ever seen. And nothing to relieve it.

Heartburn. Constantly. There may be a handful of days after April or May that you didn’t give me that.

Did you know I didn’t get a single stretch mark carrying your sister? Can’t say I wear the ‘no stretch mark’ badge proudly anymore!

The nights I’ve gotten up 2, 3 or even 4 times to empty my bladder. Sure, I had a few of those here and there with your sister, but certainly not every night.

I don’t know why you’ve decided that the space in the upper right side of my belly is where you’d most like to be situated, but you’ve hung out there almost exclusively for the last few months. My belly is always crooked, and certainly cramped at times! Oddly enough, your sister was always quite low – I never understood what people meant when they wanted their babies out of their ribs. I get it now!

And please don’t even get me started on the “baby’s measuring big” scare. Who knows – you may very well be big. We haven’t met you yet! But I did a semi-low carb diet for a few months to try and help get you back in a more normal range. Who knows if that really worked or not, but I tried my best for both of us.

And here we are, two days from your expected date of arrival. I know, we’re still two days away, and it’s only a guesstimate after all, but there are so many of us that thought you’d be here by now – including my midwife.

But don’t think it’s been all bad. There’s so much joy to be had in carrying a baby the second time around. Far less anxiety, that’s for sure. And your frequent movement has been a bright spot in my day on countless occasions! Not to mention the size of my belly this time around. I feel like I’m carrying you quite differently than I did your sister, and I think I like it better this way.


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