life’s decisions.

Life is full of ups and downs.
Full of questions with no good answer.
Full of uncertainty.

One thing life is also full of is opinions and advice. While sometimes that advice is just what you need to make a leap of faith, other times it punches you in the gut.

I’m in the midst of a decision with plenty of both types of advice. While I’ve gotten some really good advice and reassurance, at the same time some people close to me have let me down – big time.

Thing is, I know in my heart what the right decision is. But a bit of uncertainty surrounding the future is making me question what I should do.

I said going into this that family is my #1 priority. I said I would not, under any circumstances, compromise that. Yet here I am, listening to people telling me otherwise. I know what I need to do to stay ‘me.’ Making this decision the way I know I shouldn’t would affect that, making me someone I don’t want to be. Yet I let them get to me. I let them get to me because I trust them.

This one decision is making me think about my relationships. And it’s driving me further and further into my cave. If I can’t lean on those I trust for reassurance when I need it most, why bother asking for reassurance in the first place?

I get the risk. I understand the uncertainty. And if I’m willing to deal with it, why aren’t some of my friends & family with me? I understand that they’re concerned, but truthfully, one outcome is just as scary as the other. They both have ugly endings – one long-term, and one that could end up being short-term or long-term. Me? I’m willing to risk it. I know things likely won’t be perfect, but I’m willing to let this ugly choice (and the first, may I add) go for a chance at the possibility of something better. Because there is better. And my family is worth it.

Opinions are just that – opinions. I guess if I can’t take all of what’s given to me without letting it get me down, perhaps I shouldn’t ask in the first place. Just seems that in this time when I feel like I need support the most, that support is causing me more stress than I already place on myself.

I know what I need to do. Now I just need to put on my big girl pants and do it. Without question; without hesitation.

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