i’ll just keep swimming.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. 90% of the time, this dual-working family thing we’re doing works out just fine. Sure, I’d love more time with our Peanut, but to know that the time we spend together is nothing short of perfect satisfies me just fine, thank you very much.

It’s that 10% that’s the killer, the 10% of the time that is just plain stressful and exhausting. That’s the kind of week we’ve been having. Lily was dealing with some sort of virus from Saturday through Monday. Pitiful and heartbreaking in and of itself. After an extra day of rest on Tuesday, we thought she’d be perfectly fine today.

Until it all came to a screeching hault.

We got her up, dressed, and out the door this morning. But when the phone rang at 11:16 and the caller ID indicated that it was our day care provider, I knew things weren’t good. Lily had started developing red spots all over her midsection.

My poor baby ... To make a long story short and get to the point, I ended up taking her to urgent care, and we were sent to the lab for blood work from there. Could be from the high fever she had from Saturday through Monday, though the spots don’t look quite like they would if they were from her fever. Could be the dreaded chickenpox. The lab work was to try to determine just what type of virus we’re dealing with here.

Our time at the lab (And leading up to it for me – I was a nervous, anxious wreck!) was less than pretty, and my heart broke a hundred times over as the technician did what she had to do to draw 2 vials of blood from her tiny little arm.

After a truly heartbreaking and exhausting day for both of us, the difficulty of this work/life balance is clear. I’m extremely lucky to work for a family-oriented organization. I’m thankful that I was able to put my family first today. It’s the guilt and the catching up that really stinks.

The next few days will be tricky as we find a balance between work and time at home with our little one. It’s times like this that I realize just how difficult it is to live away from family and friends. To have so little support and so few people to call upon.

We’ll make it. Lily will be just fine. The sense of discouragement I’m feeling will pass, and we’ll all get through. But I’ll tell ya, this is one rough week … for all of us, and for so many reasons far beyond what’s shared here.

I know we’ll get back to that 90%. Eventually.

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