until it’s gone …

I’m warning you now … this is my mind in free flow mode. A stream of consciousness, with some serious thoughts as the roots.


It’s interesting to note life’s ups and downs. And have you ever thought about how true, “You don’t know what you’ve got ’til its gone,” really is? Why does it take something bad to make us appreciate what’s good in life?

Before you start to panic, stop. I haven’t lost anything. Well, maybe my sanity and a few bad habits, but that’s about it. Now, proceeding …

My latest conclusion: hospitals are think-tanks. It doesn’t much matter whether you’re a patient or a visitor. No, I’ve concluded it’s something they pump into that ultra-pure air that just plain makes you think. Does anyone know what that stuff is?

I just sit – watching and wondering. Do you think about why other people are there, who everyone is visiting, and what news is being delivered to the family sitting in the waiting area next to you? Their loved ones are in there, too, “sleeping” peacefully. What will their days ahead hold?

In a short period of time, you see tears of joy and sorrow, both pain and relief, plus lots of anxiety mixed in. There are warm embraces, some of which won’t ever have the chance to happen again.

I’ve learned a lot over the last two weeks. Family, meant to include those to which you were born as well as those you’ve “befriended” along the way, is frankly the most important gift we’ll ever receive. I’m admitting that I haven’t taken the time to let the most important people in my life know how much I care. And as much as I’d love to be able to answer the question, Why?,” I simply can’t. It’s life, and it happens. But it’s so dynamic. In an instant, your whole perspective can change.

I’m sad that so much time has been lost, but I’m also wondering if this feeling will last forever. Will I take the time to look back, or will I keep moving ahead and let things revert back to how they used to be?

I’ve got a long road ahead of me. I have a lot of time to make up, and a lot of relationships to mend. Some will be easier than others, and some could be lost for good. Regardless, I’ve got to try.

Life is fragile, too short and just so damn difficult sometimes. Can’t we go back to the days when a tragedy was recess spent inside because of the rain???

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